Lost..

The last few days have been really hard, i seem to be in a deep fog, im having a hard time pulling myself out of. Last night I turned to some old coping habits, only to find that they no longer numb me like i want them too, instead i woke up in a greater state of sadness and depression.

I am just so tired of hurting emotionally, and no one really understanding, and those that do, are dealing with a lot in their own lives, so I don't want to burden them with mine..so I am left feeling lonely.

Nightmares and flashbacks from the CSA are hitting in heavy and intense waves...some times making me sick to my stomach.

I am just so tired today, and lost....