so tired of the fakeness.

I am tired of being fake, pretending life is wonderful, that I am doing great and that everything is perfect.

BECAUSE ITS NOT!!

Life hurts right now, and I am trying my best to hold onto God and push through the pain. But I refuse to pretend any longer...but people around me dont want to see the broken girl inside me, they dont want to see the sadness that lays behind every smile...

they ask whats wrong, but they dont stop long enough to hear the real answer, instead they probably without thinking, tell me that everything is going to be ok, and that i am an overcomer and that they love me.

As if those words wipe away all the pain i feel. i need support right now, not words that are said without even thinking.

Everything will be Ok, I am in overcomer and I will get through this with an Amazing God who has never stopped loving me.

But right now those words, are just that, a bunch of words to make me feel better.

YET THEY DONT.

And the more people speak those words, without hearing my heart, the more alone I feel. the more I feel like I should go back to being fake, pretending to be ok, just to not feel so alone.

But I know I cant be fake any longer....

So I will grab God's hand as best as I can, and be as real as I can, even if it means on the earth I will feel so alone....